How do you measure a year? In kisses? In bedtime stories? In dirty diapers? 525,600 minutes. That's how old you are! It has been a year since God gave you to me and entrusted me to watch over you and take care of you. What a year it has been!
We have both changed so much in just a relatively short time. It is easier to see the changes since the day you were born. You are several inches taller and a little over double your weight from birth. You are just over 19 pounds, the 7th percentile for weight for your age and almost 31 inches tall, the 70th percentile for your height. But just like you impressed the doctor in the ultrasound the day before you were born, it is your head that continues to impress - at just over 20 inches you are in the 99+ percentile. (A plus because your sweet head is off the charts - doc's words, not mine Buddy) You are quite the loud little stinker, the loudest in your dayschool class this year, according to your teachers. This is very different than the little boy that didn't make a peep during our three days in the hospital. Your are quite the little mover - crawling around as fast as I can walk, pulling up, standing all by yourself, inching along tables and chairs, and walking by holding our fingers or your walker. I know it is only a matter of days or a few weeks before you are walking all by yourself! Even as I type, I am listening to you up in your room, just woken up and in your crib, standing along the side and hitting the rails, calling me to come get you and play.
The changes in me are not so easy to see, but they are there. Sweet Aiden, you have made me more compassionate and understanding towards other people. I am much quicker to give people the benefit of the doubt, knowing that I am doing the best I can each day to be the best mother I am and raise my son in the best way I know possible and with the means I have. I am quick to remember now that others are doing the same. Sweet boy, you have also made me a better teacher. I sat in on years of college classes teaching me about classroom management and parent communication, but it has been you that has changed the way I teach and my relationship with my kids. With every conversation I have with my students - especially the "bad" ones where I am having to fuss at one of my kids for not thinking before they speak or act - I think of you. I think of how I would want your teacher to speak to you. I think of what I would want your teacher to say to you. I think of what I would say to you if you had just done what that student did. I think of how you would react. In such a short time, you have some how wiggled your way deep into my heart and crawled into each little thought I have!
Last week we celebrated your 1st birthday by inviting family and closest friends to the pool for dinner and cake. We wanted a fun evening with time to laugh and swim on a warm summer night. With a lot of planning and help from your Aunt Lauren, I was confident you would have a wonderful birthday party. However, the very blustery night ended when chilly temperatures and strong winds made you and your cousin tell us you had enough and wanted to go in. So, we packed up - without eating cake, swimming, or even opening presents. You, however, got to eat your cake and LOVED every minute of it!
I went home from the party frustrated and disappointed. I had spent days planning a great party - booking a place, ordering a cake, buying decorations, getting balloons, making a banner - all for you and it didn't turn out to be at all what I hoped it would be. It reminded me of the day your dad and I got married, which was full of things that went wrong - mommy got sick, mommy's dress was wrong, the flowers weren't delivered, the power went out at the church, and we ran out of food at the reception. Much like our wedding day, your dad was quick to remind me that I was missing the big picture. Your birthday party, much like our wedding day, was merely a celebration of love and an event to mark a wonderful beginning of a new life. It didn't matter that your balloons blew away before the party even started or that you ended up wearing footed pajamas to keep you warm instead of your cute birthday outfit. What mattered is that we were able to take time with our families to celebrate your life and the gift God has given to us - YOU!
Sweet Aiden, one of my greatest fears came true at the doctor yesterday morning. I am sure every mom wants to be sure to pass on the BEST of themselves, whether it be anything from physical features to personality. I have constantly told your daddy over and over since you were just a little bump in my belly that I hoped you would not have my allergies. I already knew it would be my allergies that would hold you back from ever having a puppy and probably the reason why you can't even play at a friend's house one day. I only hoped that you would not have to go through the frustration, inconvenience, and sometimes pain that I have had to go through. But this morning at the doctor you had a reaction to one of your shots; they believe the chicken pox vaccine. The doctor asked if either parent had an egg allergy and I had to tell them I did. The doctor wants to have you tested to see if there are other allergies. I know in my heart that there are far worse things out there, but even as I type I brush away a tear knowing that I could be the one who has given you something that will cause you pain and frustration throughout your life or take away that precious smile.
Each day is a new challenge, but one with the greatest rewards. I have been counting the days, not of school to end, but to the days I get to spend with you. When people ask what I am doing this summer I smile to say, "I'm going to be a mommy." I am so excited that I will hopefully be able to see your first steps now that I am with you each day. You and I do have some homework though, little man. First on our summer agenda is to get you walking! You are SO close and I am sure you will be running around by our beach trip! Second on the list is to get you to drink out of a sippy cup and off that bottle. I had to be tough yesterday and know the only way you would get your afternoon milk was through that sippy cup. (You won - it didn't work. We played a game of "fetch" as you tossed your sippy cup from your perch in the high chair and mommy picked it up. You wanted NOTHING to do with it and decided you would skip milk than drink it from that cup.) Third on the list is shoes. I didn't buy shoes early on because I didn't see much of a need and didn't want to spend the money on something you would not use much and outgrow quickly. Well, now that you need them you, again, want nothing to do with them. All in good time, little Aiden. Fourth on the list is to get you waving - and not the moment someone finally walks away. Fifth is to work on saying "mama" when you want something instead of whining. It will take time, but time is something we have a lot of for the next few weeks!
I fall more in love with you each day and love seeing a new Aiden wake up each morning. You are our sunshine and I am so honored to be your mom. There are a thousand things I would do differently if I could take the last year back, but I wouldn't change you at all! I am quickly learning that being a mommy is trial-and-error. Mommyhood takes a lot of
great ideas and high hopes...
good intentions...
and going with the flow when things don't go as planned.
I love you so much, Aiden, and I am thankful for all the smiles, tears, laughter, hugs, kisses, and cuddles you have given me in the past year. May this year be as wonderful as the last.
Happy FIRST birthday Aiden!
