Well, it's official - I'm in hopelessly in love. Don't tell Matt, but this other guy is short, bald, depends on me to do everything for him, and (I'm sorry to say) passes gas all the time! Matt is still the love of my life, but I have to say that I am smitten with this new guy. Did I mention that this new guy is only nine pounds and sucks on a pacifer? It is sweet Aiden and I cannot believe that he has been here for a month already! I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about our first month together and thought this would be a great place to record my thoughts, along with some of my favorite of his 4 week-old photos.
My Greatest Challenges
This first month has certainly brought many changes and change is usually a challenge. I think my greatest challenge has been nursing. The experience was not what I thought it would be AT ALL. It always looks so sweet and endearing on tv. Not so for me. It has been VERY painful in so many ways. A bout of mastidas has also been a challenge and possibly the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Along with the pain, I am not a person who can sit still very well. I constantly need to be doing something and nursing does NOT allow that. Add that in with the fact that Aiden needs to eat every 3 hours (and for one week we had to feed every 2 hours to get him up to weight) and I am forced to sit still and do NOTHING for close to 5-6 hours a day and I am about to go crazy! Matt says his greatest challenge has been the lack of sleep. I don't think it has been as big of an adjustment for me because I really have not slept well since January and have not slept all the way through the night since October. I guess that was just God's way of getting mom ready! (Don't get me wrong, though - I am certainly tired!)
My Greatest Rewards
The first month has brought challenges, but there are also so many rewards! My favorite reward has been
Aiden's faces! He has SO many expressions and I laugh at him so often! Matt and I have named so many of his looks and expressions, such as "Blue Steel" and "Pirate Eye." He even has a face for when he is done eating, hungry, curious, and even making a dirty diaper. The best face has been his smile! He has started to smile and it is the amazing! (Don't get me wrong, I realize it is probably gas, but it still wonderful!) Aiden also gets in a deep trance when he finds the fan in either the bedroom or the den. He could watch the fan for hours!Unexpected Twists
I can't say there has been much that has happened in the last month that I didn't expect. I was prepared for the lack of sleep, long and slow recovery from the c-section, constant repetition of laundry and bottle washing, and complete disappearance of any personal time I had before. However, I think there are two things that have caught me off-guard: the post-preggers weepy-ness and my mommy instincts. I didn't have
emotional meltdowns during pregnancy, but I have had several good cries since Aiden has arrived (and over many things I would not have guessed!). The most unexpected was my gushy sob when Matt told me he has found the perfect new home for Shelly and Shelldon (the turtles I have had for years). I am not sure why, but I sat on the couch and sobbed! I knew this time would come and we have been looking for a good home for them since finding out I was pregnant, so I am not sure why I was so weepy to hear the news! The other surprise has been the mommy instincts. I didn't think that I would freak out over being away from Aiden, like I hear other new moms talk about, especially if it is just for a short time. Matt has kept Aiden once or twice at the house to allow me some "mommy time" at the pool to get some sun. I have had to force myself to stay an hour and then constantly watch the clock! The first momentary freak-out was for my 2 weeks check-up with my doctor and my sister's 16 week doc appointment. We set up the appointments together so Lauren could drive us, since I was not allowed to drive. We were running late to the appointment (no surprise) and Lauren had to drop my off before parking in the deck and going through the maze of the hospital so I would be on time for the first appointment. Since I was not allowed to carry Aiden, she would have to bring him later. No big deal, right? After signing in and being called back I constantly watched the clock wondering where they were! It took all I had not to call her after 10 minutes and ask why they were not there yet. I held off until 15 minutes went by and no appearance of my sister and son. I called and Lauren reported she was still in the waiting room because the receptionists were googling over Aiden. What was wrong with me?? Then over the weekend I got weepy AGAIN when Matt and I began discussing schedules when I go back to work in THREE weeks! I told Matt I want to go back to teaching - I LOVE teaching - but at the moment I could not bear the thought of not being with Aiden all day! All reactions I was NOT expecting from me!The Future
In the second month, my goal is to finish Aiden's nursery. There have not been pics yet because it has been very slow coming together (I blame Tanner Time). The glider should be here soon, hopefully the hutch
bookshelf will be done soon to put his books on, and Matt will finish his art work and we can get it on the wall. I cannot wait for Aiden's new discoveries - his hands, his feet, his toys, and the beach! As silly as it sounds, I am also eager for Aiden to be able to wear some of his clothes from his sweet friends! Right now he is still too small to fit into most of his clothes, so he has worn his gowns and the 2 newborn pjs I got him. He has many cute things I cannot wait to see him in (including the shark bathing suit his mom got him that I am sure he will fuss at me for later!). But for now I am enjoying every moment, knowing he will not be this tiny and cute and snuggly much longer!
